A Mulligan

In the world of weight loss, is it possible to get a Mulligan? Can I get a do over and truly start fresh?

My weight has ALWAYS been my biggest hangup! When I started this blog six months ago, I truly felt this would help me be accountable for what I am doing to get myself healthy. While the main focus to acheiving a healthy lifestyle are to lose weight, the point is become healthy again.

Sadly though I found that I wanted to avoid the health/weight loss issue just as much, if not more, after I started this blog than before! Another even sadder truth is since I began my avoidance, my health has decreased and my weight has increased.

I scan of recent blood-work has all but SCREAMED in my face how badly out of control this spiral and roller-coaster has become. My cholesterol is officially high, my sodium low, and my glucose levels even closer to diabetes than 6 months ago. I have also managed to gain 14 additional pounds of cushion that I don't need and don't help my over all mind health.

My weight has made me aggitated, aggressive and severly depressed. In truth I am terrified of what to do and how to do it. I am terrified that I will not be able to achieve the goals I MUST achieve to become healthy and live a productive life for myself and my family. My health doesn't just affect me, it affects my children, my reasons for being. My hang-up with my body image and disgust with my self are having a direct result in how I am parenting my children. I am avoiding school events and parties, this I am sure makes my children feel SO important (sarcasm here).

I am determined now to face this beast of lifestyle change head on and win, though I am scared and unsure what to do.

I have spent a lot of time over the last few days pouring over recipes, foods, vitamins and exercise that I hope will help me achieve the healthy body, mind and spirit I need to be the best I can be.

I have set a date for Monday to begin to put my plan and goals into action, allowing me a couple more days to cement the best course for me.

Wish me luck and I will check back soon.

Days 11-15

Obviously I haven't been keeping to my new fitness driven life. In all honesty, I have been avoiding it.

Getting sick was a definite pop in my balloon of a fitness changing life. I have lost the motivation and the desire. I am trying to figure out what exactly it is I am trying to do. And I need to re-investigate the reasons I am trying to get fit and lose weight in the first place.

Today is definitely not a good day for fitness for me, so I think I will hang it up and find some tater's.

Days 5-10

As usually happens with me, I got my late spring and early summer cold. The last several days I haven't walked, I haven't ate (at least nothing good) and I haven't drank water.

When I am sick I fall back to the comforts of life. The comfort clothes, blankets and yes, the foods.

With a sore throat I ate a lot of mashed potatoes, reasoning with myself that they wouldn't hurt my throat any worse and I drank a lot of my beloved Pepsi!

I realize that I could have chosen better foods to prevent my throat from hurting so badly, soap, j-ello, just about anything other than loaded mashed potatoes.

The damage to my body is done and to my psyche as well. It's time to re-group and move on.

Day Four

Yesterday I walked about a mile, less than the two days before, but today I feel no worse, not much better, but definitely not any worse.

I have been searching the internet for some strength moves I could incorporate into my nightly walk with the dogs. I think I am just going to try to add some bicep curls and other arm moves for right now.

I didn't feel so great today, my stomach was really acting up, so I slipped back into my old habits and avoided food for the most part. I also avoided water and in general flopped today.

I took the dogs for a very generic walk, not much of anything really, not even enough to count as a walk.

I feel like I am giving up before I even get started. I think I will rest a bit and see if tomorrow is a better day.

Day Three

The first thing that I can say about my journey today is OUCH!!!!!!

When I woke up, my entire lower unit was hurting. Not muscle pain alone, just pain. My feet hurt in places feet shouldn't hurt! My legs hurt and my HIPS hurt! Every move has been painful and uncomfortable and sitting doesn't relieve the pain in my feet.

I had thought I would experience this discomfort yesterday, but I was fine! I guess today my body is making up for it.

I learned a couple good lessons:

Lesson #1- Even though you are walking, STRETCH! Had I stretched a little before taking off, I would probably not have quite as much pain in my legs and hips.

Lesson#2- GOOD SHOES are a must. I walk along a gravel road with lots of rocks. I need shoes that are much thicker in the sole and support my feet better. I will begin shopping for a new pair of shoes that will allow my feet comfort.

Lesson#3-Anything worth having is not always comfortable and easy to obtain.

At this moment I would love to forget all about my desire to lose weight and crawl into bed, never to torment my poor piggies to such painful excerise, but I won't. Bad shoes, sore lower unit, I am heading out for the walk today. I will stretch first and I will cut it down a little, but I will walk.

Day Two

I feel pretty good today, I did well with my eating choices and I walked again for 1 and 1/2 miles. It was pleasant, but boring. I definitely need to find some way to make excercising more enjoyable.

At this time though, I really need to get the walking down pat.

I didn't do as well today on water consumption as I had hoped. Tomorrow is a new day and I will get better with time.

I am tired so this post is short, but wish me luck on tomorrow, I need it everyday.

Day One PM

Alright, I must say that Day one didn't go quite as well as planned.

I did so-so with my food choices.

Breakfast: Pepsi
Lunch: Sandwich (wholewheat turkey light mayo cheese slice) and pepsi
Dinner: Bar-b-que chicken (not a lot of the bbq) and baked potato (okay here I failed miserably......this is going to MUCH harder than thought) and pepsi!
PM Snack: NONE!

Though I did consume more water than usual (which is none) I didn't live up to every other drink method, I met this about every 2nd Pepsi. Considering my usual habits of Pepsi all day, everyday and only Pepsi, I will still congratulate myself on this and start over tomorrow.

Exercise: 70 minutes of walking (2 miles appx)

I did really good here and I must say I feel really good about it!
Today we received a new addition to our family.........a large dog that needs to walk.
I must say BB was a great motivator to get me to walk and I promise the to little dogs were happy about it.
The one thing I forgot to do was to stretch first, but I didn't feel bad walking and nothing hurts, so I am thinking I will be okay.

While looking over today's hits and misses, I need to get breakfast in everyday. I know this is going to play an important role in acheiving my goals. I also need to incorporate a few healthy small snacks.......oh and drink more water!

Today is over and I would give myself a thumbs up or at least a 6 on the scale of 1-10. Though I lathered my tater, I kept it to just a small one, I did drink some water and I did eat lunch and exercise!

Off to bed, I need some sleep! Tomorrow is another day and another chance to get it right!