A Mulligan

In the world of weight loss, is it possible to get a Mulligan? Can I get a do over and truly start fresh?

My weight has ALWAYS been my biggest hangup! When I started this blog six months ago, I truly felt this would help me be accountable for what I am doing to get myself healthy. While the main focus to acheiving a healthy lifestyle are to lose weight, the point is become healthy again.

Sadly though I found that I wanted to avoid the health/weight loss issue just as much, if not more, after I started this blog than before! Another even sadder truth is since I began my avoidance, my health has decreased and my weight has increased.

I scan of recent blood-work has all but SCREAMED in my face how badly out of control this spiral and roller-coaster has become. My cholesterol is officially high, my sodium low, and my glucose levels even closer to diabetes than 6 months ago. I have also managed to gain 14 additional pounds of cushion that I don't need and don't help my over all mind health.

My weight has made me aggitated, aggressive and severly depressed. In truth I am terrified of what to do and how to do it. I am terrified that I will not be able to achieve the goals I MUST achieve to become healthy and live a productive life for myself and my family. My health doesn't just affect me, it affects my children, my reasons for being. My hang-up with my body image and disgust with my self are having a direct result in how I am parenting my children. I am avoiding school events and parties, this I am sure makes my children feel SO important (sarcasm here).

I am determined now to face this beast of lifestyle change head on and win, though I am scared and unsure what to do.

I have spent a lot of time over the last few days pouring over recipes, foods, vitamins and exercise that I hope will help me achieve the healthy body, mind and spirit I need to be the best I can be.

I have set a date for Monday to begin to put my plan and goals into action, allowing me a couple more days to cement the best course for me.

Wish me luck and I will check back soon.